Zoo Keeper Em
by Will-alwys-Luv-Jace92
Summary: SEQUEL TO Whats Up With Emmett? Emmett gets bored again so of course he is going to bother Bella. What happens when he leads her and Edward to the zoo and unleashes all mayhem?
1. Grizzly Bear Soup

**Disclaimer: Me No Own The Smexii Cullens :(**

**AN: My friend bugged me to write a sequel to What Is Up With Emmett so... Here it is!**

**With this story i'm going to try to make longer chapters so dont expect me to get right to the point like i did with the other story, but as i write more chapters, i'm expecting Emmett to make more destruction in his wake. R&R and give me some ideas of what Emm should do**

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**BPOV**

_-Bella, Emmett, and Edward are sitting in the Cullen's living room watching the Discovery channel-_

"Grr… another bear documentary!" I said, pouting a little in Edward's direction so that he would get the hint that I wanted the channel changed.

"_WHAT_! Grizzly Bears are the shizz! You better take that back Bella!" yelled Emmett.

"Calm down Emmett, you know that as long as I'm here, you can't do anything to Bella" Edward said without moving his eyes from the screen.

"Especially after what you did to her _last_ time."

Me, trying to stay away from the topic of Emmett's last assault on my social status and dignity, decided to change the subject before a fight broke out.

"Well you know what animal I think is the 'shizz', Emmett? Cats! They're the best!" I say while smiling.

At the mention of cats I noticed Edward get alert, watching me out the corner of his eyes while suppressing a smile.

"I'm sorry Bella, I love 'cats' as much as you do except that I don't think they would be on the Discovery channel right now and if they were I think my stomach might actually growl." He chuckled at his little joke. As I think about what he said, I realize that I never heard his stomach growl before.

"Eddie, can you be quiet, I'm trying to write down this recipe for this Grizzly soup" Emmett says while frantically writing something on a piece of paper. I feel my eyes widen as I stare at him then at the tv.

Edward rubs my back and whispers in my ear, "Don't worry, Love. He's playing. I doubt they make grizzly bear soup recipes and if they did I wouldn't want Emmett bringing some of it home."

Emmett hears him and shouts, "Hey! I'm a great cook! Just ask Bella! She's eaten plenty of my cooking before and look at her! With all that extra protein she looks ten times as delicious as before!"

Once again I stare at Emmett in mock horror and make a mental note to never let him cook for me again. I wonder what kind of things he slipped into my meals while I was being dazzled by Edward… rabbits? Bears? Deer? Maybe even squirrel… I bet he would get a kick out that that… I don't know why I never learn my lesson and just stop trusting him.

What shocks me out of my thoughts is the sound of Edward laughing. He was actually laughing at me!! I instantly grew angry.

"What's so funny?!" I turn and yell at him.

As soon as the words leave my mouth he kisses me and I'm temporarily dazzled, I can't even remember why I was mad at him. Then I hear the most dreaded words I have ever heard in my life for the second time this month:

"I'm bored. Bella? Do you have any suggestions?" Emmett was grinning at me and he had that look in his eyes. The same look that was telling me that Emmett was up to something and somehow I was going to be involved.

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**AN: LOI, I'm Sorry, I'm a little hungry lol, and i picture the Cullens watching Animal Planet and the Discovery channel to get their recipes instead of the Food Network so i put that in. But Yea.. I'm with Bella, i LOVE cats and i always end up being involved in someone else's, -cough- mine -cough-, schemes. R&R :)**

**dont 4get to give me ideas of what Emm should do**


	2. Cat Ears

**Disclaimer: I would LOVE 4 the Cullens 2 own me, but that dream is as far as my dreamof owning them -tear-**

**AN: i wanted to make this chapter longer but... oh well! i dont want to give out everything in the first two chapters :))**

**anyways, hope u enjoy, i try to keep the characters personalities the same but once ina blue moon i write what i would say in the situation ;)**

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EPOV**

_Damn it… I hate when Emmett gets that look in his eyes but it doesn't matter, this time I'm determined not to leave Bella alone with him._

I tried to read his mind to figure out his plot but all I got was the stupid Spongebob Theme song. I narrowed my eyes and glared at him to show that I was on to him.

"Hey Bella, to prove which animal is the best, a big, strong grizzly or a wimpy, puny cat, how about we take a trip to the zoo?"

This time the song in his head changed to the Dora theme song which just frustrated me more. I never trusted that show; there was too much danger in walking around in the woods on an adventure with only a monkey and a singing map and backpack to protect you.

I noticed Bella fidget in her seat then looked up at me for support. I couldn't find harm in going to the zoo as long as I was there so I sighed and nodded my head yes.

She turned back to Emmett and said, "Only on one condition. Edward has to stay by my side and you're not allowed to bring a tape recorder, either."

"That's two conditions by dear sister" Emmett said while thinking over her requests. "Ok, fine, you win. Now let's go! I'm hungry!"

On the way to the car I had to remind Emmett that it wouldn't be wise to rip open the bars to the bear cage and wrestle and/or eat the bears in public. Actually, I commanded he didn't do or think about it at all. The last thing i needed was a mental image of Emmett going crazy for bear blood while my innocnet Bella stood by.

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BPOV

-The trio arrives at the zoo just a few miles away from Forks and they walk towards the 'House of Cats' section of the zoo-

As we're walking towards the cages I see a tourist building.

"Ooh! Let's go in there!"

"Ha! It's funny how the human gets excited even before we enter the exhibit an especially over something like a gift shop."

I give Emmett my evilest glare but his words just make me want to go in just to prove that I wouldn't get _that_ excited over the shop.

Once we get in the shop I stop and stare in awe.

_It's like a magical land of everything cat related!!_

I walk around the shop a full 5 minutes, Edward right by my side, when I see the cutest thing and it catches my eye.

"OMG! Edward! Isn't it the sexiest thing you have ever seen?!" I jump up and down in my little bubble of joy while Edward raises an eye brow at my actions. I shove the silky brown head band on my head and grin up at Edward waiting for his opinion.

"Um, they're cat ears…" He says slowly, trying not to insult me by calling me weird.

"I know! Aren't I sexy?" I do a little twirl then playfully scratch him with my nails. "_Me-ow!_"

"Wow, Bella. You better stop or else I might just have to…" he trailed off as he bent down towards my neck. He stopped a mere inch from pressing his cool lips to my neck and we glanced up to see Emmett throwing key chains at Edward.

I hear Edward release a low growl. "What's wrong Emmett? Feel left out since Rose isn't here?"

"Uh… Um… _no_! It's just disturbing watching you guys. I mean, come on! Don't I get to _see_ and _hear_ enough at home?"

I blush and Edward smirks.

"Ok, come on then, Bella."

As we purchase my cat ears, that I'm proudly wearing by the way, and walk out the door, Emmett stops and faces us.

"Well no offense to you Bella, but I don't particularly like cats so I'll just go catch up on those grizzly bears and see you guys later."

Edward's jaw clenched in frustration so I knew he was trying to read Emmett's mind. Edward narrowed his glare at Emmett so I knew that Edward couldn't find his true motive.

"Ok, but if I even hear one thought from anyone commenting on how reckless or stupid you are behaving, I'm dragging you right on home." The way that Edward said this rang authority and I knew that he meant what he said.

I looked at Emmett suspiciously then hugged him good before he walked away, a little faster then a normal human should walk.

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**AN: so how did you like Bella's little obbsession? it lead to an easy escape for Emmett which was the whole point, but the question is, what now? R&R! I'll post the next chapter after i get some good ideas of mischief that Emm can do at a zoo**

**BTW: Bella's reaction to cat ears is exactly my reaction to seeing them. i LOVE cat ears & i most def. am jealous that Bella owns some and i dont**

**-Tiz-**


	3. The Quiet Before The Storm

**Disclaimer: -goes to Borders and purchases all the twilight books-**

**Me: **_**YAY! I OWN!**_

**Borders Guy:**** uh… no. you don't.**

**Me: **_**-cries-**_

**AN: How will Emmett prepare for his attacks? **

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I looked at Emmett suspiciously then hugged him good before he walked away, a little faster then a normal human should walk.

**EmPOV**

_Hm… now that I ditched them, what should I do now? This place is so huge that it's bound to have something fun somewhere._

As I'm walking around I notice a crowd of little kids. Something was catching their attention and only the most randomest things do that.

"Hey, Kids! Whatcha up to?"

"Hi, Mister! Come look! The zoo keeper is letting us feed the goats!" said a little girl with blonde pig tails.

I look over her shoulder and see a man dressed in tan with a safari hat standing in a pen surrounded by goats. I make a mental note of how he is allowed near the animals and in the pens. I then see what he is handing out to the children.

"Hey, Human girl, what is he handing out?" I asked.

"Oh, those are food pellets. They give us those so we can help feed all the animals in this area. All you have to do is tell him what animal you want to feed and he will give you the right type of food."

She then turned around and held her hand up and asked the zoo keeper for ferret pellets.

_Ferrets… they sound awesome. Maybe I should feed those?_

"Hey Mr. Zoo Man, can I have some ferret pellets too?" I asked and plastered my face with the most innocent expression I could make without laughing. He seemed as if he didn't buy it.

"Uh… sure" he said while giving me a suspicious look and putting a handful of the nastiest little brown and yellow round things I had ever seen. They smelled like feet.

"Thank you, you are now my accomplice" I say as I ran away grinning as i put the pellets in my bag.

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Well if I'm going to have to entertain myself for the whole day, I'm going to have to come up with more than one scheme. Hm… a gift shop, it was stock full of annoying toys last time I went in there…

I walked in the store and walked to the back so I wouldn't be noticed or bothered by annoying clerks who say they want to help me but they really are just trying to find a way to kick me out for doing something mischievous.

_Oooh! What's this? Whistles? _

As I evil laugh to myself, I fill a shopping cart with about 20 or so whistles.

_This will be interesting_. I smirk.

As I approach the counter a little pink can catches my eye. I pick it up and throw it in the cart too. When I put my cart's contents on the counter to be rung up, the employee gives me that same suspicious look the zoo keeper had given me.

"Hmm.. a bottle of 'spray your tongue pink' and a million whistles.. no good could come from this. He's a weirdo" I hear the clerk mumble under his breath. I laugh to myself because he was right to be suspicious. This plan was full proof.

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Ok, onto the next items I need.

I walked around until I say one of those zoo keepers again. He was sitting behind a bush in the llama exhibit; apparently hiding while he took a quick break.

_No one will miss him._

I approached him on all fours so he wouldn't notice me then I let out a low growl.

"What the hell? Llamas don't growl!" he said as he leapt up, a look of fear on his face. Then he noticed me.

"Excuse me sir, but what are you doing? This is a prohibited area. I'm going to have to turn you in to the park-"

I didn't let his finish. I jumped on his and hit him hard enough on the head that he would become unconscious for a few hours. I didn't want to kill the poor guy, just steal his clothes.

I took his clothes and stuffed them in my bag along with the food pellets, whistles, and tongue paint. As I was about to walk away, i got an idea. I slipped his hands in his boxers and laughed a booming laugh at the scene.

_That's the best way to get up in the morning._ I think while smirking.

Then I noticed something shiny next to him.

_Keys._

I put those in my bag too. I really didn't need them, I could easily break the locks on any of these cages but it would be less suspicious if I didn't go all vampire on the innocent animals.

After I left the llama pen, I smelled the air for any traces of Bella.

_Good, she's near. Time to put step one into action._

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AN: ok, what do you think? I already have all Emmett's crazy plans thought out. I wanted to put them each in a separate chapter since it would be too long to write them in one. R&R!!

**Next time: Emmett's**_** first**_** attack on Bella.**

**-Tiz-**


	4. Emmett's First Attack

**Disclaimer:**

**Kilz: Tiz, you need _therapy_**

**Me: NUH UH! I'm perfectly sane :), plus, human doctors can't help me with my twilight addiction.**

**Kilz: I'll get Dr. Carlisle… -says in a teasing voice-**

**Me: YAY! –runs to therapy... Gets there and only sees a normal mundane named Dr. Dover-**

**Kilz: SIKE! Now sit and talk to the nice man, Tiz**

**Me: -mumbles- this wouldn't have happened _if _I _owned_ Dr. Carlisle…**

**AN: YAY! Time for Emmett related torture!**

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After I left the llama pen, I smelled the air for any traces of Bella.

Good, she's near. Time to put step one into action.

**EmPOV**

I take the pellets out my bag.

_Hehe… I can't wait till Bella gets a load of these._

I pull out the hot pink can of edible spray and thoroughly coat the round pellets. I admired my work.

_Perfect! They look just like gum balls!_

I walked around until I spotted Bella and Edward standing near a fox exhibit. I quickly hide behind a tree so they wouldn't notice me. I waited a few minutes and then a boy about 15 walks by.

"Pfft! Hey! Hey you kid!"

He walked over to me slowly, I confused look on his face.

"Hey you see that hot girl over there? The one next to that stupid looking man?"

"Um, yea, what about her?"

"I bet she would totally date you" I say with a sly grin.

"Really? How would you know?" he asked, getting interested.

"Well because I just so happen to have these candies," I show him the ferret pellets, "and she just _loves_ them. If you went up to her and give these to her she would most definitely go out with you."

"For real!?" I was glad he was buying it. Teenage hormones are so easy to manipulate.

I hand him the pellets and watched from a safe distance as the boy approached Bella and Edward. I then pulled a video camera out my bag and turned it on.

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EPOV

I was staring at Bella as she cooed over how cute the foxes were when I heard someone approach. I snap my head up to see a teenage boy about 15 with sleek blonde hair and a nervous expression on his face.

"Um, hey, Baby. I heard you like candy" he said to Bella with a nervous smile. I automatically clenched my teeth and narrow my eyes. He notices and I hear his thoughts.

_Wow, he's scary looking. But I'm not giving up, this girl's smoking an if I can take her away from him if I just give her some candy._

I let out a low growl and he quickly diverts his eyes away from me and stares at Bella.

Bella looks at me and then looks at the boy. "Um, yea. I guess I do like candy."

"Well would you like some?" he smiled, holding a hand of some foul smelling gum balls.

I give Bella a warning glance and she says low enough so that I only can hear, "He seems nice, I don't want to hurt his feelings. What could happen?" she shrugs and takes the candy.

I let out a growl signaling that I wanted the boy to leave now. He took the hint.

I turned back to Bella. She was inspecting the candy to make sure nothing was wrong with it then popped all of them into her mouth.

I watched as she chewed and then made a face like she had just eaten garbage.

"UGH! That was horrible!"

"That's what happens when you take candy from strangers" I say as I put my hands under her chin, pulling it up so I could look at her face. She was becoming a pale shade of green and her mouth was twisted up in a grimace.

"Bella, are you ok, you look kind of-" I didn't get to finish my sentence. So fast that I didn't have time to react, she threw up all the candy right onto my chest. As I stared in shock at my sick Angel I heard a low chuckle from near by.

"EMMETT!!" I roared as I saw him running away at vampire speed. I was so angry that I wanted to chase him but I couldn't leave my Bella alone looking as sick as she did and I knew that running with her on my back wouldn't help the situation.

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EmPOV

_HA! That was priceless!_ I think as I put the camera back in my bag. I was far enough away from Edward and Bella so I knew I could sit and laugh without being ambushed.

_I haven't seen anyone puke that much since I dared Jasper to eat 2 large pizzas and a bag of barbeque chips. _I think while some people walked by quickly giving me weird looks as if I were insane for just sitting and laughing by myself.

After I finally calmed down I looked in my bag and pulled out all the whistles.

_Time for my next plan,_ I thought as I gave an evil laugh.

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**AN: YAY! What ya think? My friend just loved the idea of Bella puking on Edward and i know that Emmett would think it halarious too. **

**& Yes, that disclaimer really happened, my friend tried to tell me 2 go 2 thereapy and i only agreed when she said Dr. Carlisle was goin to be there, the only difference is she told me sike before I ran to the therapist office -Pfft, im not _THAT!_ slow- plzz! R&R!!**

**nxt time: Whistling Dixey! _What Is Emmett Up To Now?!_**

**-Tiz-**


	5. Whistling Dixey

**Disclaimer: I own the hair on my head. I own my pinky ring. I own my world, yours, and my cats. But I don't own twilight –cries-**

**AN: sorry I haven't updated this week, I feel kind of guilty but I haven't felt like writing but I'm determined to write at least 2 chapters this weekend :)! What is Emmett going to do now?**

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Time for my next plan_,__ I thought as I gave an evil laugh._

**EmPOV**

_Hmm… this place is crawling with little kids. I love this place!_

I took the whistles out my bag, there were about 20 and I knew there were more than enough kids running about. I walked around until I came to the zoo's food court. As I expected, it was crowded with parents and their mischievous children. I walked up the one of the nearest kids and put on a smile.

"Hey little boy, would you like a whistle as part of free whistle day at the zoo?"

"Yea!" the boy yelled.

_Like taking candy from a baby_, I thought as I handed him one, walked away, then approached the next kid. I handed all the whistles out which wasn't hard after I gave out the first two. Lots of kids ran up to me after that begging for a whistle too; I handed them out while chuckling to myself.

"Hey kids! Listen up! You see that giant clock over there?" I pointed at the giant clock that was in the middle of the food court, "when that clock starts ringing at 1 o' clock, I want you all to start blowing your whistles." All the kids shook their heads in understanding.

_Now time for the victims…_

I knew that Bella, being a human, would have to eat soon and I knew Edward would be with her when she came to the food court.

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EPOV

After me and Bella had stopped at a gift store to buy me a new shirt, which had a picture of a lion that said "I Run Like The Wind And Hunt Like A Lion", I heard Bella's stomach growl. I looked down at her just in time to see her blush and I smiled at her.

"Hungry?" I asked while giving her that crooked smile I knew she loved. I heard her heart skip a beat as she blushed and mumbled "Mmhm..."

I lead her in the direction of the food court, the whole time kissing the spot under her ear. She was having fun so far on our trip and that made me happy that we had agreed to come to the zoo.

When we arrived at the food court I saw its crowded but I noticed an empty table in the middle of the clearing. I lifted Bella and walked to the table and sat her down.

"Stay here, Love. I'll go get you something special" I said as I gave her a kiss then laughed as her heart went into overdrive and she had to gasp to get air.

I walked over to the concession stand and as I passed I saw a bunch of children with whistles.

_Hmm, they must be popular_, I thought as I shrugged and kept walking. When I got to the concession stand I gave the cashier my dazzling smile.

"Can I have one of the best that you have?" I said while looking up through my lashes.

"Uh, um, right away Sir!" stuttered the cashier. She ran to the back into what I guess was the kitchen. In a few seconds she was back with another woman wearing an apron.

"He said he wants the best we have, Kim" the cashier said.

Kim looked at me for a second before gasping for a breath.

"Uh, Sir? How about our fish and chips with a coke? It's one of our best dishes."

"Sure" I said in my deep, velvety voice that I use to charm people.

"Um, ok" both girls said at the same time. Kim ran back into the kitchen while the cashier went back to work, sneaking a glance at me every few seconds while I waited for Bella's food.

_Well at least I know that they will make Bella's food as good as it can get. I really don't like her eating food from such places; I would rather take her to a nice restaurant for lunch._

After I paid for Bella's food, giving the cashier and cook a generous tip for working so hard on my Love's food, I went back to the table where Bella waited.

"Here, my Love, I hope you enjoy it. If you don't I might just have to go back there and give them a piece of my mind."

"No, its ok, Edward. I bet it will be delicious."

As I sat and watched Bella eat I heard the clock tower in the court chime. It was a very loud noise and I winced because I have very sensitive hearing.

_Why the hell did we sit right next to the clock tower? Well at least that's over; it's only 1 o' clock so it won't ring again until two._

Just as I finally relaxed from hearing the chime I winced again as a little girl ran by me blowing her whistle.

_Damn these children…_

Even before I could get angry at the girl another child ran by blowing his whistle. I covered my ears at an attempt to stop the ringing in my ears. It didn't help at all because at that very moment I heard loud,Screeching whistle sounds from all directions. It hurt my ears so bad that I wanted so scream but I knew that wouldn't help the situation. Instead I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut just as I saw Bella reaching her hand out to me, a worried look on her face.

"Edward! Are you alright? What's wrong?" I heard her yell in my ear. I wanted to look up at her and assure her that it was nothing, that I would be ok but the whistling grew louder as children ran around blowing till their hearts content.

I couldn't take it anymore. I felt myself fall off the chair and hit the ground.

_Damnitt…!_ _Whose bright idea was it to give children whistles?_ Then it dawned on me. _I know who would do some shit like this!_

I slowly opened my eyes. I was curled on the ground and Bella was kneeling next to me with tears in her eyes. I couldn't stand to see her cry over me but it wasn't my fault that this had happened.

I looked slowly around the food court, people were staring at me and a few of the kids had stopped blowing the whistles because their parents said it was annoying. As I continued to look around me I heard a low chuckle; I immediately looked in that direction and saw Emmett behind a tree holding a video camera.

_Damnitt! He saw me!_ I heard Emmett think.

"YOU ARE SO DEAD EMMETT! AGAIN!" I roared as I slowly stood up. My outburst had made the remaining kids stop blowing the whistles and stare at me in horror; a few kids started crying.

Once I got up Bella hugged me and started to cry.

"I thought you were hurt! I'm glad that you're ok!" she whimpered as she laid her hair on my chest. I put one arm around her and hugged her back.

"I'm ok, Bella. It's Emmett you should worry about" and as I said this I removed her arms from around me and started running toward Emmett.

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AN: so? How'd ya like it? I want to say I'm sorry to all you pro-Edward/Bella people but this

_**IS **_**a story about how Emmett gets into trouble at the zoo and it just so happens that bothering Bella/Edward goes in that category.**

**Nxt Chapter: can Emmett escape Edward? Will he finally learn his lesson? What else is up Emmett's sleeve? Check back to find out!**

**-Tiz-**


	6. Ew! What's That Smell?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Emm, Bells, or Eddie –tears-**

**AN: ON WITH THE STORY! & please Send Reviews!**

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"_I'm ok, Bella. It's Emmett you should worry about" and as I said this I removed her arms from around me and started running toward Emmett._

**EmPOV**

_It's a good thing I got a head start! There's no other way I would be able to outrun Edward_, I thought as I looked over my shoulder to see an enraged Edward speeding after me.

_I have to find somewhere to hide, if I don't he's going to catch me and I'll wish I were dead!_

Just as I was running past the crowded pet-the-animals pen, a smell so vile it made my eyes water, hit me.

_Uh! God! What IS that?! Smells like a cow took a crap!_ And then it hit me, even if I hid, Edward would still find me if he followed his nose (_**AN: Ha! I Love Toucan Sam**_). After smelling this horrid smell I went in search of the source. Just my luck, I found a huge pile of manure behind one of the pig pens, and it was fresh.

I heard Edward coming_; he growls louder then the animals here_; so I dove behind the pile and stopped breathing in order to resist the urge to throw up. I then blocked my thoughts in time to hear Edward growl at the smell and head off in a different direction, muttering how he wants to strangle me the whole time.

That was close, I thought as I relaxed a little. I noticed how other people walking by cringed at the smell.

_Wow, people really hate the idea of animal feces_. Then another brilliant idea dawned on me. I grinned evilly and picked up the nearest shovel.

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_HA! This is hilarious!_ I thought as I literally rolled on the ground laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. There were at least 50 pissed off people staring at me like I was crazy but I could care less, it was worth it to see their reaction to my little prank.

Every time I saw someone walking near the place I was hiding, I took the shovel and scooped up some manure and then ran at vampire speed, placing the small pile right in there path just in time for them to step in it before noticing it. And of course I had set up the video camera on a fence to catch the whole thing on film.

Just as I was about to get my last few laughs in, I heard security approaching and people complaining to them. _Damn, the Man! I have to get out of here!_

While I gathered my things and my video camera I yelled, "You can't catch me! I'm invincible! I'm having too much fun for you to stop me! You'll hear from me again!" then I high tailed it out of there.

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**AN: Sorry this chap was short, but it was just one of those detours and spurr of the moment things that Emmett does. I'll update again so, just please send me some reviews, they make me happy!**

**-Tiz-**


	7. Rawr! I'm A Bear!

**Disclaimer: I own the ideas that Emmett comes up with, but I DON'T own Emmett –cries-**

**AN: YAY! New Chap! Make sure to R&R! & also I'm working on **2 new stories**, the 1****st**** is called **Tears by The Real Mrz.Black** (I'm the co-author!) the second I haven't come up with a title for it yet but I'm posting the 1****st**** chap later tonight, make sure to add me to your alert list so that you will know when I update!**

**-Tiz-**

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_While I gathered my things and my video camera I yelled, "You can't catch me! I'm invincible! I'm having too much fun for you to stop me! You'll hear from me again!" then I high tailed it out of there._

**EmPOV**

After I ran to the other side of the zoo, where I knew the security guards wouldn't find me, I started on my next plan. I pulled out the zoo keeper uniform, safari hat, and keys that I stole earlier.

_This will stop security from bothering me and it will also make my next scheme more believable…_

After I changed my clothes, putting my jeans and t-shirt in my bag, I walked around and inspected that area of the zoo. Eventually I smell what I'm looking for. _Grizzly bears._

After I set the camera up far enough away so no one would notice it and so it could capture the entire scene, I walked to the bear cage and saw 3 huge grizzly bears staring back at me. I put on a mischievous smile.

I turned around, looking extremely professional, and say in a voice loud enough to grab the attention of who ever was near, "Come one, come all! See the amazing show! I, Emmett McCarty, will single handedly wrestle three, count them, three, bears!"

After I said "amazing show", a group of people stared walking towards me. After a fairly large crowd gathered, I took the keys out my pocket and headed towards the back of the cage and unlocked the door.

I stepped in and walked right to the middle with the bears walking towards me. I heard a chorus of "oohs" and "ahhs" and "he's so brave" as I flexed my muscles for show. The first bear walked on all fours and sniffed me to see if I were food. It cringed away from me, I guess it could smell how dangerous I was but that didn't matter, I knew how to annoy a grizzly.

I walked to the nearest one and reached under and pet its chest, when I found what I was looking for, I gave a low, deep growl as I twisted its nipples. The bear roared and then stood up on its hind legs, pissed off.

The crowd was paying attention now, and others were coming to join and see what was going on. I did the same to the other 2 bears that I did to the first and they walked closer to me, trying to block all ways to escape but that's exactly what I wanted to happen.

"Look! He has no way to escape!"

"The poor man!"

"He can't possibly take on all of them at once, can he?"

I heard the disbelieving remarks and fear coming from the crowd and it just encouraged me. I yelled "Come and get me!" then grabbed the nearest bear and flipped him over. While I had that bear pinned, I allowed the second bear to swipe me with his claws, throwing me into the cage, which left a dent.

I pretended to act weak and hurt as I stood up then lunged at the third bear. I put it in a head lock but by then the first bear had stood up again and bit me on the shoulder. I screamed in fake pain as the bear backed off in surprise at the hardness of my flesh. By this time the crowd was screaming with fear and excitement.

I wrestled the bears for about 3 more minutes before I decided it was time for my grand finale. One of the bears clawed the front of my shirt and I kneeled over, screaming in fake pain. I then collapsed and stayed still as a statue as the bears continued to scratch and paw me. I heard exactly what I wanted to hear next. "Oh my God! Somebody call an ambulance!"

I stayed still as I heard an ambulance siren in the background. I felt my body being lifted and put on a stretcher as people asked concerned questions and asked if I were alive. _Ha! As if I were actually alive before I stepped in this cage_, I thought.

After I was taken out of the cage, an EMT took my pulse and said loudly for everyone to hear, "I'm sorry to say but there's no pulse at all. And his body has already turned cold. He's dead." He must have checked his watch then because he then said, "Time of death is 5:39 PM on June 18."

I continued to remain still, eyes closed, until I felt the white sheet being pulled on my body and the stretcher being lifted, about to be put in the back of the truck. Right before they lifted me in the truck I chuckled darkly and rose slowly and eerily. I heard gasps and screams coming from the EMTs and crowd as everyone watched my "resurrection."

After I had the complete attention of the crowd, I jumped off the stretcher and ran at vampire speed away from the scene. I heard screams like "He came back from the dead!" and "It's a ghost! Did you see that? That man just died! I saw it with my own eyes but now his body disappeared!"

I started laughing, I couldn't help it. The way their faces looked was priceless. I doubled back to the place I had my camera, staying out of view the whole time.

After I threw away the shredded uniform, keeping the safari hat, I changed back into my regular clothes and put the keys and camera back in my bag.

_Hm… I think it's about time to do my final act on Bella today. I wonder where she could be._

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**AN: So, how was it? If you have a major problem with death related issues** I'm extremly sorry** but I always had this idea of what would happen if someone thought one of the Cullens had a freak accident and died. But anyways, **one more chapter** left! –so sad- but don't worry, after this story is done I'll do a sequel of **Bella and Edward's revenge on Emmett–**evil laugh- PLEASE R&R! Thanx**

P.S.** please check out my 2 new stories! As I mentioned in my first author's note, the first is called** Tears by The Real Mrz.Black** (I'm the co-author!) the second I haven't come up with a title for it yet but I'm posting the 1****st**** chap later tonight, make sure to add me to your alert list so that you will know when I update!**

**-Tiz-**


	8. I Am The King of the Wild

**Disclaimer: don't own… blah blah blah… stop reminding me of my pain –tears-**

**AN: Emm's final attack! I wonder what could happen –evil laugh-**

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Hm… I think it's about time to do my final act on Bella today. I wonder where she could be.

**EmPOV**

_Before I find Bella, I have something I have to do._

I walked until I came back to the House of Cats that Edward and Bella visited earlier. Keys still in my hand, I strolled in nonchalantly. Inside, there were leopards, tigers, ligers, cheetahs, and of course, lions.

I waited, leaned against the lions den, until the family that was visiting left.

_Rule number one: never leave Emmett alone_.

I quickly unlocked the cage and peered inside.

"Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty" I said soothingly.

* * *

"Oh my God! It's a lion! Run!"

I laughed as loud as I could at the humans running for their lives.

_This is too much fun, why didn't I do this first?_

I was riding on the back of the biggest lion I could find in that den; the ruler of all the others. He was at least 6 feet long, 4 feet high, and weighed over 500 pounds.

People were grabbing children and running, yelling about how they didn't want to die today and how its amazing this zoo isn't as safe as it seemed.

_Well, technically, the zoo_ IS_ safe. It's me that's hazardous to their health_. I thought with a smirk.

I sat up straight on the lion, holding one hand on the mane and tried to look like royalty; occasionally sticking my nose up in the air when someone looked at me. This was all the time.

"Do not run peasants! Your king has arrived!" I yelled in a voice that just screamed authority. Many people stopped running and stared at me like I belonged in the crazy house. _I probably should check in there for a few days after today…_

"All of you should be honored that your king has shown up in public! This is a once in a life time event!"

More people came back to stare at me with confused expressions.

"Your king, the King of the Wild, as you may call me, is in search of someone! You see, I was living in a lions' den all my life until recently and my only friends are my loyal lions, and my servants" when I said servants, I pointed at the crowd.

An uproar erupted from the crowd but I silenced it immediately when I said, "I am looking for a new love, someone I can share my life with, and I need your help." At this, the women in the crowd looked at me with lovesick eyes and the men looked at me with jealousy. _I mean, come on, I_ AM _handsome. You_ SHOULD _be jealous._

I gracefully slid off the lion, and scratched it behind the ears. I then tied it to a bench with a rope I found in a supply closet earlier.

"I shall seek the one that makes my heart beat", I smiled inwardly, "but I need you peasants to watch my lion while I am gone! Au revoir!" **(AN: That's Goodbye in French)**

I ran at vampire speed in my search to find Bella. Behind me, I heard screams of terror and dissappointment.

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**AN: I was going to put Bella in this chapter, but it was getting kind of long, so… CLIFF HANGER! And yes, if it weren't so dangerous, I would most def. ride on a lion and try to make people bow down to me. Too bad I would probably get killed so I have to make Emm do it instead!**

**-Tiz-**


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